Wasting Time With Things That Don't Matter
I have become very obsessed with Balatro
For those who don't know what Balatro is, all you need to know is that it's a video game that does a lot of brain tickling. Numbers go huge, hypnotizing music, satisfying sound effects, and constant unlocks and challenges to keep you coming back for more.
It's fun. Addicting, but fun.
But it also doesn't matter at all.
It doesn't make me smarter, more spiritually inclined, or give me real world monetary resources. It doesn't better my life at all.
Now, it is fun, and there is definitely a relaxing quality to it, but how much is fun and relaxation really important to bettering one's life?
I'd argue fun and relaxation are vitally important, but how much? What's the limit?
I just watched a 4-hour video of someone playing Balatro (on 2x speed, at least). I watched it to learn more about the mechanics of the game that break the game. There is one more challenge I want to unlock that has been giving me trouble. But, beating that challenge doesn't really make the game necessarily more fun or more relaxing.
I've crossed a line. The game has become more of an addiction, controlling what I do and value, more than a tool for fun and relaxation.
It's probably due in part to some of the bugs in my brain, but I've crossed the line into obsession.
It happens quite often. Something is bound to have hooks in my brain at all times. It's just a matter of what it is. Sometimes it's writing, sometimes it's spiritual practice, sometimes it's something that doesn't really matter. Well, often times it's something that doesn't really matter.
Or so I think, at least.
There's a part of me that knows cracking out on a video game is a colossal waste of time, and there's another part of me that says to give myself a break. That second part of me knows it's all meaningless (or all meaningful) and tells me to just chill out and enjoy life as it comes, weird obsessions and all.
There is a devil and an angel on my shoulder, but I don't know which is which.
Yesterday, I said freedom comes in realizing there is no problem that needs to be solved.
So, maybe I need to take my own advice and realize there are no entities chilling on my shoulder pulling me in opposite directions.
Maybe we need to waste some time with things that seemingly don't matter to give ourselves space from the over-stimulation of things that seemingly do matter.
I just took a moment to reflect and try to think of how I'm going to end this thing. What came to me is a quote I heard, I think from the bible, awhile ago.
It has something to do with there being a time for every season. Let's see if I can find it.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
A time for meaningless things, and a time for meaningful things.
Just be present with the time you're in.
~ V